


Your Earth Weather Is Ridiculous

by Besin



Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: The Original Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-08
Updated: 2011-03-08
Packaged: 2017-10-16 19:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Besin/pseuds/Besin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock doesn't like the rain, which makes sense, but his mother's from Seattle so it shouldn't. And thus, because rain is random, humans are ridiculous. Yeah- Jim doesn't get it either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Earth Weather Is Ridiculous

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Stuck in the rain.

“Your Earth weather is very interesting.” Kirk couldn't restrain a chortle as the words slipped from Spock's mouth, flavoring heavily of bitterness.

“Welcome to Washington,” he commented dryly, motioning out towards the sky with one arm. “Don't like the weather? It'll be there all day. Like the weather? Within ten minutes you'll find yourself sorely disappointed.”

Torrents of rain razed the ground as he spoke, leaving entire lakes of mud slopping down the hill. The pair had taken refuge just inside the door-niche of a small shop, one of many along the strip. There, a small overhang just large enough to shield the both of them from the onslaught hung above their heads. All the shops had long-since closed, and there were no other forms of shelter in sight.

If Jim had thought it possible he would have thought that the Vulcan's frown deepened. “My mother never informed me of the precipitation that occurred in her state of origin.”

“Really?” the blond man replied, almost in shock. Thunder cracked, and Spock quickly glanced to the sky before turning his eyes back to his companion. “Washington's famous for it- especially Seattle. That's her hometown, right?”

“Yes...” The Vulcan tilted his head in confusion. “You imply that Vancouver does not top the precipitation lists. I find this hard to believe considering the current phenomena.”

Kirk chuckled lowly. “No; Vancouver is known for its Bi-polar weather. Sunny one moment, thunder-storms the next. Seattle's just known for the rain.”

Satisfied with this answer, the Vulcan nodded. “Fascinating.” Again, the taller man turned his eyes beyond the overhang just as a bolt of lightning touched down in the center of the street. “Should the electricity not strike one of the buildings, or the street-lamps?”

Shrugging, his human companion offered no reply aside from, “Even lightning can miss.” They stood in silence for a bit after this. The air was cold- approaching freezing- and the rain wasn't showing any sign of letting up.

“We are out of transporter range, are we not?”

Kirk laughed. “One of the benefits of shore-leave in a valley, Mr. Spock.” His eyes took in a puddle forming just outside their cover. Observing it for a second, he idly rubbed his numbing hands together in hope that the friction would warm them. It didn't. “It puts you one-tenth of a mile outside the range of transporters.” Spock's eyebrows furrowed at the movement.  
“I do not believe that to be a benefit, Captain.”

Rolling his eyes in a decidedly childish manner, Kirk fixed the Vulcan with a deadpan expression of sarcastic appreciation. “No shit.”

“Your dermal temperature does not seem to be adjusting to the current situation,” he stated, angling himself to face his captain.  
Jim seemed to stumble a bit at this, mentally, attempting to produce a reply despite how it had been a statement, not a question. Eventually, he settled on one; “No shit.” Peering into the window of the shop behind the doorstep they were currently occupying, Kirk's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “It doesn't look like it'll be letting up any time soon.”

“Your earlier sentiments would insist that it would not,” the other man commented, much to Kirk's irritation. “As it appears, you are not fond of the weather. Thus, by your earlier deductions, it will continue to rain for some time now.”

“It was just a saying, Spock.”

“Sayings usually take root from fact, Captain,” was his reply. Jim frowned, turning his eyes from the shop back to the street. Lamps just barely lit the sidewalk before them through the haze of water, and a quick glance at the sky brought only the sight of electricity threading through thick black clouds overhead. If anything, the storm was just beginning. As a heavy wind blew through the small niche Jim couldn't find it within himself to suppress a shudder. “Would you like to use my jacket?” he companion offered. The human declined with a shake of his head.

“No, thanks.” Something about borrowing Spock's jacket seemed wrong, despite how his hands had long-since gone numb and his feet were beginning to lose feeling. The harsh wind cut through his own coat- much thicker than his second because of the inescapable fact that he was human- and curled steadily inside his clothes to nip at his torso. Even his legs were beginning to chill. Minutes later, when his fingers began to change to a dull blue at the tip, he squawked with surprise when a set of digits warmer than an oven brushed against the back of his hand before engulfing it completely. “What are you doing?” Kirk garbled, not bothering with the futile attempt at hiding his shock.

Spock's calm, entirely undisturbed expression was maddening. “It would be illogical for me to stand idly by awaiting the point in which you allow assistance,” the man deadpanned, further entwining their fingers with a clever twist of his wrist. “Considering your nature, such an event would occur long after you develop frostbite.”

Kirk rolled his eyes, though he knew the man was more than right. “Think they're dry enough yet, Spock?”

A single eyebrow arched at this. “We have been under cover for five minutes,” the man replied in his own incredulous manner. “I highly doubt that the communicators managed to rid themselves of moisture in that time frame.”

“Miracles happen, Spock.”

If possible, the ebony eyebrow rose further into his companion's hairline. “Miracles are not logical.”

Kirk scoffed. “It could happen.”

“That chance of that event occurring is...” The man paused as Jim marveled. Spock was calculating the chance that the communicators had dried in five minutes- actually calculating it. “One billion three hundred sixteen and six tenths to one.”

Jim blinked. “Six tenths?”

“Six tenths.”

“What're the six tenths for?”

“A small-scale Klingon invasion occurring in your pocket.”

“In my- You're kidding, right?”

“One must consider all possibilities, no matter how unlikely the option may appear.” A silence passed between the two as the rain only seemed hit the ground at a higher rate than before. “It puzzles me, Captain, how humans came to settle this land. The climate does not appear to be exceptionally inviting.”

“And you call a dessert inviting?”

“The weather is consistent,” Spock explained briefly, fixing his companion with a look that clearly said, 'You did not consider all, but that is to be expected because you are a human. A lowly, insignificant human.' Finally, after a moment of silence, he extended on his statement. “As the storms on Vulcan are placed exactly three of your Earth months apart there is a sense of balance with the world despite a regretful shortage of hydrogen. However, seeing as your kind settled in places that do not follow any sort of pattern and have chosen to live in places without any natural order it simply reflects upon the race as any other aspect of it would.”

Kirk blinked. “So, long story short, humans are illogical because of the weather?”

“On the contrary,” the Vulcan mused, obviously pleased with himself, “As your Earth weather is not illogical due to cause and effect it is simply ridiculous. That, by default, makes your species ridiculous.”

Another pregnant silence followed this strange observation, in which Kirk was at a complete loss as for what to say. Eventually, he attempted to understand the man's reasoning. “Humans are ridiculous, now?”

A pointed eyebrow rose at this. “Surely you had noticed sooner.”

“Yeah, but...” The man trailed off, content for the moment to stare quizzically at the back of the Commander's head. “Because of the weather, Mr. Spock?”

“Yes, Captain,” Spock replied, ever the exasperated Vulcan. “One would have assumed you might have understood by now, but I see it requires further-”

“No, no,” Kirk interrupted, slapping a hand to his forehead in sheer disbelief. “I understand.”

Silence.

“I believe the phenomena has subsided for the time being,” Spock eventually noted as the rain cleared to a light drizzle. “Shall we?” Motioning to the street, the man led the way toward their hotel.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was a lot of fun, and I hope you guys enjoyed it!


End file.
